Fear Scary

Bucket List Day Yesterday

Ok I hadn't expected my day to turn out to be so darn amazing yesterday. Mike's mom (Who I'll call A) called me yesterday and wanted to know if I wanted to go with her to the flea market. I really didn't want to. I don't like going shopping when I'm not looking for anything specific. I do need a cage stand but I know they don't have it at the flea market and I can't afford one right now anyway. I'm waiting for February when there will be a reptile show and they will have some there. I should have saved up by then. But I told her I could come over and visit her. I knew she'd gotten a lovebird for Christmas and was having trouble with it. Also I had her Christmas gift still which was a little cactus cutting I had for her. So I went over and saw her lovebird and it was in a tiny cage. I told her she could use one of my cages that was much bigger so we set that up. I might pick up a cage for her at the show if I go. Also I clipped it's wings and started to do step up training in the corner of a bathroom. She told me there was another lovebird in the house next door. So we went over and go that one too. I was told they were mean birds and bit a lot. One was more feisty but none of them bit and they will be easy to train. One will take a little more work. So I'll be over once in a while to help them out with that. I think they were biting because of the small cages that should only be travel cages. They are afraid and had nowhere to run when people put their hands in.

Here is the first one I worked with. Looks like an olive. The other one was a normal color but I didn't get a pic of it. This one has a bad wing it seems. But is fine otherwise.

After that A asked if I wanted to go for a golf cart ride around the property. I said sure. We were getting out and I saw a lovely tree in bloom in her yard. She gave me cuttings. I will try to root them but if I succeed I have no idea where to put them in my yard. She took me around the neighborhood actually and we met some other neighbors. We came back to the house and Mike was home.

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OK so remember the septic tank? I saw Mike and one of his friends driving a huge backhoe. I told Mike I would love to drive it. I've ALWAYS wanted to drive some kind of big machine like a bulldozer or a backhoe or anything huge like that. Well he said to come back in the evening and they needed someone to move mulch around. Would I like to. OF COURSE!!! So I went home to rest and then went back in the evening. They were cutting down trees and cleaning the land. The same friend that showed me his chickens taught me how to drive the backhoe and just the front bucket. I had a blast. Too bad it got dark though it was so late. I did give videos of it. They told me I could come back today. I could then learn the crane part which is harder. Well I'm very tired from all the excitement but yeah big machine was a bucket list item. If I go today I hope get day time footage. I'm sore and achey. Almost everyone there is an extrovert and I'm very tired. I'm also not used to extroverts telling me I can come over whenever I want. I feel that's wrong and should always ask permission. But they were just so happy I came to help with the birds. The backhoe is a rental so I think of I don't go today I won't get to use one ever so I should. I want to work the crane part as that's what I've always wanted. Here's a pic of it.

So incredible day. Didn't do any of my "to do" stuff but I think this randomness was way better than what I had planned.
Purple Coneflower

Hoya and Dischida Wishlist

Just another list for me to keep track of plants I want. Dischidia is a genus closely related to Hoyas but little is known about them. I don't think there are many in cultivation.


Hoya Sp. UT043 or UT042
Hoya Sp. UT033
H. australis
H. campanulata
H. cinnamomifolia
H. cumminga
H. cystintha
H. endauensis
H. engleriana Vietnam
H. imbricata
H. kerrii albomarginata
H. multiflora and multiflora white
H. pubicalix hawaii
H. patella and patella var. white
H. mindorensis
H. Wallichii


D. imbricata flat
D. ovata - watermelon
D. nummularia - string of nickles
Fear Scary

Four turtles finally

So things are going pretty well. I'm making slow but steady progress on my Bullet Journal. The month is half over and I'm not done with it. This is not good and is typical of my two weeks it takes to make a month. I need to get ahead.
Minion is officially at 140 words now and I think he has a new one. I think he says Mister. Makes sense since I call him Mr. Budgie sometimes. Tummy is also a new word since tell him he has a cute tummy and kiss the tummy and things like that. So Sunday Chris got me the last two turtles I was missing. I have all four now which is very cool. I think I'm going to have fun making photos with them. I have this one where I tried to recreate a scene from the intro.

Here's the scene.

And here's my pic. I had to make Don and Raph squat so much. It was late and I was tried but I think the way to pull this off is to have Leo and Mike on a box so the other two are lower but still closer to each other. Then I can have them standing without putting them in more difficult poses than necessary to make this work. I love all these with my only complaint being Raph and Mike didn't come with belt sheaths for their weapons like the other two. I can thread Raph's sys through his back belt but I can't do much with Mike's nunchucks.

These figures are exclusive to Target. There is also a Rockstead and Bebop set but it's super rare. I hope we can find it but most people have never even seen them in stores. They aren't on the website so this will be like the pre internet days when I used to drive all over town hitting stores in search of figures.
Young Gourd

Blessed Assurance. Once Saved Always Saved

A few years ago I wrote up how to get saved and be on your way to heaven. You can find that post HERE.
But after this one of the biggest problems facing Christians is the fear of losing salvation or not sure of ever having gotten saved. Or worse you might think you're saved but you really aren't. This post will help with this confusion.

So you believe in Jesus Christ. Does that mean you're saved and going to heaven? NO. Believing is not enough. Lots of people believe. Catholics and Mormons believe. Devils believe in Jesus. Even Satan believes in Jesus. Does that mean Satan is saved and going to heaven? No of course not!

James 2:19 Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.

The Bible even points this out. Belief is good but it is not enough and you need the right kind of belief. So everyone knows that Jesus died on the cross but do you believe that he lived, was God on earth, died, resurrected in three days and returned to heaven. And that when he died on the cross he died for YOUR (YOUR NAME HERE) sins. He did this once and this is all that is needed.

Faith is not IN it's ON. Faith and believing has to rest on something.
Faith in the bridge means you will walk across it. But if you don't, saying "Oh no I won't actually walk on it" you only know it in your head but you don't really believe it will hold you. You have faith in the chair. So sit on it. If you don't sit on it you don't have faith, you don't believe, it will hold you. It is only a concept in your head. You have to believe ON Christ and Christ alone.

Acts 16:31 And they said, Believe ON the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.

Christ on the Cross alone.

But many people think it's this PLUS. They like to add to it or their church teaches wrong doctrine. Jesus Plus +
+ Baptism
+ Priest
+ going to church
+ being good
+ clean up sin
+ giving money

NO. None of these things will get you to heaven and are not part of getting saved. Works do not save you.

Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
Not of works, lest any man should boast.

Romans 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

This is the key. Once you believe you will confess it out of your mouth. Hence
* Sinners prayer
We get the Sinner's prayer from Romans 10:9.
Romans 10:13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

Now praying is not salvation. If you think you already ask for forgiveness every morning that is not salvation. Praying is a work. Works are not salvation. The sinner's prayer is not a regular prayer. It's not about praying but about admitting your belief and you admit that your are a wicked sinful person on your way to hell and only Jesus can save you.

* Doctrine of Repentance.
What does the word repentance or to repent mean? It means you are sorry. This is the first step to salvation.
The first thing Christ told us to do is to repent.
Matthew 4:17 - From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.

If you truly don't want to go to hell and are seeking salvation you should feel sorry for being a sinner.

Romans 2:4-5 Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?
5 But after thy hardness and impenitent heart treasurest up unto thyself wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God;

Repentance before belief. You gotta realize you're lost and going to hell. Your sin will send you to hell. Otherwise what's the point of believing? You want God to take away your sin and clean you up. Repentance and Faith go hand in hand.

Ok so perhaps a long time ago you did all this. You admitted to yourself and Christ that you are a sinner on your way to hell and you were sorry for what you had done. And you believed on Him dying on the cross for your sins, resurrecting and returning to heaven. But now you're unsure because you keep sinning. "I fell back on sin. I did something wicked for a long time. I can't let that sin go. I don't think I'm saved I think I'm going to hell." Then what?

* Once saved always saved.

The blood did it once and for all. It's permanent.

1 Corinthians 5:1 It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife.

Here is an example out of the Bible of a wicked church member that did something disgusting and evil. He was saved but do you think he's going to Hell now since he did this and continues to do bad things? Well here's what the Bible says.

1 Corinthians 5:5 To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.?

They were turned over to Satan in life so their body would be destroyed BUT their spirit, their soul would be saved. They still go to heaven. So don't think just because you're a Christian you will never sin again once you are saved. Christians are still human and imperfect. God knows this and it is why the blood of Christ covers all your sins in the present from the moment you became born again to the future because you will sin. New Christians are carnal and it is not easy to give up bad ways if you had some very bad vices. Some people don't like the word carnal or believe in it. If you don't believe in that then you also don't believe in new baby Christians. Baby Christians haven't had time to grow by learning from the Word so of course they will make mistakes.

1 Corinthians 3:1 And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ.

1 Corinthians 3:13-15 Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is.
14 If any man's work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward.
15 If any man's work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire.

Evil works from a saved person will be tried and burned. He will not be burned. He will suffer loss but he will be saved. Carnal Christians and Baby Christians. Christians can be evil. This is not a free ticket to sin. That is why you should have repented in the first place. You should feel bad for having done bad things so ask for forgiveness but you do not lose your salvation because you did something wrong. When you repent of sin you don't need a checklist of your sins. Salvation is simple. Salvation covers all sins.

2 Corinthians 12:19 Again, think ye that we excuse ourselves unto you? we speak before God in Christ: but we do all things, dearly beloved, for your edifying.

Who are the beloved? Us saved Christians.

Ephesians 1 5:6 Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,
6 To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.

When you repent all you can do is believe on the blood of the cross. Why would he have done that if anything else mattered? Death burial and resurrection is what saves you. With a repentant heart you believe Jesus is God who died was buried and resurrected for you, then you speak it.

Ok so you get all this you have done this but you're still unsure? This next proof is even more powerful than 1 Corinthians.

* Triple Assurance

Ephesians 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

When you were saved you were filled with the Holy Spirit and SEALED. That is very powerful.

Ephesians 1:13 In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the Word of Truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that Holy Spirit of promise,

So you have the assurance of the Holy Spirit who lives in you. He's that still small voice that guides you and tells you when something is wrong.

John 10:26-38 But ye believe not, because ye are not of my sheep, as I said unto you.
27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:
28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.

These are the words of Christ. No one can pluck you out of his hand. So you are sealed by the Holy Spirit and you belong to Christ and no one can take you away from him. But wait it gets better.

John 10:29 My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.
30 I and my Father are one.

Jesus said right here. God the Father who is above him also has you in his hand. So you are sealed with the Spirit, you are in Christ's hands and also God the Father's hands. Not anything you do or say or think wrong can take you away from them. Not anything anyone else says, thinks or does against you can make you lose your salvation. You couldn't go to hell if you wanted to after that.

So don't be afraid. If you were saved you can not lose it. If you are not saved and would like this wonderful free gift from the Lord you can say this by yourself in your room. Even if you are saved and you want to make sure you can say this again too. It won't hurt.

"Dear God, I know I'm a sinner, so I repent and believe Jesus is God, who died, buried and resurrected so his blood can wash away my sins. I'm trusting in that alone. Not anything I do. But only what you did on the cross. In Jesus name I pray. Amen."

Congratulations. You are now a saint and a new creation. Now doubt no more.


Fear Scary

A very productive day

I finally finished putting away all the Christmas stuff. I have a few things out for Valentine's Day. I look forward to the day I can go all out with holiday decorations like I used to before our house became a disaster area. I've gotten some new cactuses. They Astrophytum Asterias Superkabuto. They are lovely and could possibly become my fave cactuses in my collection because they look like little gems. They are all unique and no two look alike. A. asterias is round with no spines. It has white velvet dots or tear drops like sesame seeds on it that make geometric patterns on its five ribs. It's my first official import from Thailand and they came with a neat phytosanitary paper work. Luckily it didn't have to be used and customs cleared it with no issues. I always worry about that.

I am so behind on my video projects but I worked on something totally new and off the wall. Well I had this idea in December of last year. I've been told by lots of people on youtube that I sound like a young boy. Everyone is shocked when they find out I'm a married woman. Hee hee. I'm used to it and don't mind. Well I can voice a lot of young male characters. I used to do a voice for a fan character I made that was SpaceGodzilla's son. So there is this old Spanish Christmas song called Mi Burrito Savanero which means "My Little Savanna Donkey". A very young boy sings it in a high voice and tells the story of him riding his donkey to Bethlehem to see Jesus. Everyone grows up with this the way we grow up with Jingle Bells. I think you have to be Spanish to love it. I can see that it would be an annoying song to the rest of the world. Anyway, I had a feeling I could sound JUST like the singer. And I was right. So I found a karaoke version and recorded myself today. It is pretty amazing and I will post it soon. Need to fix some sound issues and get some nice footage to go over it. So that pretty much took over the second part of my day today. I showed it to Chris and he was impressed. I like it too but I've always been a fan of my own work.
Fear Scary

Too cold to do anything

I haven't done much these last two days. It has been too cold and been having joint pains. All the plants and birds are inside the house because of this. I did work in the garage yesterday and set up the second shelf. I am amazed how these shelves tidy everything up vs just stacking bins on top of each other. I don't know how as it's the same amount of room from the wall but they take up less space this way. It's weird but it's good. I'm guessing two more shelves should do it for the stuff that we have kept. Maybe three. I might need more because eventually I want to use the north wall to have shelves for plants for the winter and set them up with lights. Once everything's organized I will have to go through everything yet again and be harder on myself and get rid of more stuff. We still have too much for my taste. I keep telling myself if it's in the garage and I forget it exists I don't need it. Get rid of it.

Speaking of lights I got this new awesome small led light for the plants. I'm so sick of my pink lights. The plants love them but I hate that I can't see their true colors. This one has the red and blue but more yellow and white so the light is really clean. I've never heard of this brand but if the plants end up liking these as much as I do we'd have found a winner at last.

I'm annoyed that Target charged me for the LED shark when we went to pick him up. I thought he was paid for so I didn't budget right. I was very annoyed when I checked my balance and am doing very badly this month. I paid with paypal so that should have come out in a few days. I ordered him in the last week of Dec right before Christmas. So that should have been paid for. I should have checked but I got used to Amazon's orders coming out almost instantly.

I hope things will warm up so I can get back to being productive and working on art.

Ninja Turtles

Yesterday I made a lot of progress on my Bullet Journal. I cheated and instead of drawing I just used stickers to quickly get through the month of January. This buys me time to finish everything else and take more time to do Feb. I filmed all the layouts while they were blank and started to use them so it is now filled out since the first of the month. I still have to finish the front page for 2019. I drew the same year in review as last year for the layout. I need some ideas about who or what to draw in the quadrants. Last time it was the Triangulum Resistance crew. I am loving this new journal too. It has nice creamy pages that have a pleasant texture. I think part of the pleasure of Bullet Journaling is it's also a sensory experience. I'm probably one of the few NT's that does this actually. So the January update will be late but it will be complete. I find myself looking at my old journal a lot and look forward to when I wean myself from that one and can shelve it.

So today was good. We went to Tokyo Sushi again. Chris bought me a second shelf from Home Depot. I LOVE these plastic shelves for organizing the garage. I will post pics later on of them. I bought one from Lowes and one from Home depot to test out. From the looks on the websites I thought I'd like the Lowes ones better because they were solid white and the HD ones had black sides. But the Lowes ones are cheap garbage. Flimsy plastic, rough edges that have to be pulled off and for both being 36 inches wide the HD ones give you 2 extra inches which helps a lot. I will use the Lowes shelves for plant supplies but from here out buy only the nicer smooth HD ones. So now we have a second one. If the black bugs me too much then I can paint them perhaps.

We then went to target to pick up a Christmas shark I had ordered. It's such a Florida thing. It was only available on target's website and it finally came in. Poor thing. It works but he's boxed til next year. He's adorable. I'll do a review on him some other time.

Now I have mentioned this on and off but most of you probably don't know I used to be a major Ninja Turtles fan back in the 80s. I loved the cartoon and hate all the other versions where they don't look like the ones from the original show. Back then toys weren't as cool and I always hated that they never looked like the characters on the show. Well Neca has released some turtles that look JUST like the ones in the show. I would have killed for figures like this as a kid. Unfortunately they're expensive. They come in a two pack set. There's Donatello and Leonardo, Michelangelo and Raphael, Two foot soldiers and Bebop and Rocksteady. Well today Chris got me Donatello and Leonardo. I have been playing with these since I got home. So funny and I set up these funny photos. This is what happens if they don't have bad guys to fight. I can't afford any bad guys or the other turtles for a long time. Bebop and Rocksteady are the rarest and might be on the website only.

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I have been laughing so hard I have cried. These are so fun to play with.
New Year

LJ New Year thing

Last New Year's thing. I post a lot. Not happy about this result. It's not like a lot of people use LJ anyway I should have gotten a better result. If you post this make sure to copy and paste and edit the html. If you hit post it will force you to use the newer editor and your response page will look terrible.

You can get card with your statistics here!
Christmas Tree Blue

Art Year In Review 2019

Ok just finished this. I made lots of art this year but mostly traditional.

January: RipTalon, the captain from Triangulum Resistance.
February: Captain Ahab in Gregory Peck style. Or Lincoln style.
March: One of this year's commission pieces. A jeep wrangler. I also drew a bunch of vehicle doors. People ask for the weirdest things.
April: An uncolored drawing of Henrietta the Rhode Island Red hen I used to have.
May: A drawing from my Bible Journaling I made when rebels tried to over throw Moses. God opened up the earth and they were swallowed up tents and all.
Numbers 16:32 And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up, and their houses, and all the men that appertained unto Korah, and all their goods.
June: A pic of Solan looking at his watch. I don't think he's ever been late for anything.
July: Empress Bullet from Triangulum Resistance.
August: Phage the budgie surprised.
September: Sorath with Planets.
October: Gord talking about defeating Fear. These last four are a series for a solitaire video game.
November: Scary Fear enjoying a beautiful Fall day.
December: Scary Fear as this year's Christmas cards. Hopes and Fears.
Bonus: The first drawing of last year. The cover of this year's Bullet journal. I modified his phrase to say "What powers will you give me this year?" Looking back on this now that's an amazing question I can now answer. This year was great. I made tons of art. Some of it didn't make the cut into this review. I got more commissions this year. And I made some actual physical art too like a mailbox, tail lights and a custom budgie hat. I'm sure I'm forgetting other accomplishments. This year was just packed. Kinda sorry to see it go. Hard to imagine a better year but I'm hoping for that and hope 2020 will be even better. We are the ones that make our time great or now. So be awesome.

And that reminds me. I've been wanting to share this video since Christmas but keep forgetting. Politically the year has been awesome too. Our nation has prospered. The economy is great. We're exporting oil and are the leader in oil for the whole world. We have helped out Israel which is a guaranteed blessing for us. The turkey pardon this year was funny. Always enjoy those. And Melania (sorry I spelled it wrong I know) Trump made the white house into a winter wonderland for Christmas. It is like a palace right now and a lovely mix of Christmas and Patriotic. Two things I love. Having the Trumps in power has been like having a good King and Queen for our nation. I hope they win the next election in the new year. They have our vote for sure. Anyway check out this lovely video. Oh and the song is funny but also nice at the same time. They took Trump's voice when he said these words in speeches and ran it through auto tune so it sounds like he's singing the song.

New Year

Happy New Year

So I managed to get the year in review done yesterday. That was not easy as this year was so good despite the bad start. Though this year has been bad for pet deaths. Just found out yesterday a buddy on youtube lost a special talking budgie. It has just sucked. But yeah good bye 2019 you were great. I hope 2020 will be a good one too. Here is this year's Christmas greeting.


I always have extra cards to make and send every time I think I am finished. I make a batch of around 20 cards but this year has been the busiest. I think I sent out nearly 40 cards. I need to take a count I'm not sure. He's a direct link to my card video.

I ordered a T-rex figure on Ebay and I was amazed. The lady that sent it to me went above and beyond the call of duty with amazing packaging and care. But not only that she added a Christmas card. That's such a personal touch. So I had to make one for her and send a few last second ones too for people that mentioned to me late they wanted some.
I won't be doing a haul post until probably the second week of the new year because I'm still getting packages slowly trickling in. One major thing I ordered is a new front bumper for my jeep. It should come this Friday. I hope so anyway.

Today I get to start on a new Bullet Journal. I'll be using the Mint colored one Kabuldur helped me get. I'm so used to my old my old one. This one feels very different. I am looking forward to seeing how it will get filled out. I also wonder if it will last the year or only partially. My old one had 128 pages. This one has 197 so it might make it through the whole year. We'll see.

I did have something annoying happen with my cactuses. One got invaded by a colony of sugar ants. I hate ants. I had to put everything out for now and set ant traps. It's winter so right now all of them are dry and not to be watered til spring. Repot should be done in spring too so I was waiting for that. Many are still in the pots from the store with bad soil. But I may have to do early repots because I have to get the stupid ants out of there. Ant traps aren't as effective as out right spraying but I handle these plants often so I don't want to risk it. And I had just added some very pretty rocks to some I really would hate to take them all apart and separate the rocks from the soil. Tonight might be a cold night and I have to bring things in. I have to check the weather but it's yucky cold out.

Oh my commission for the Bullet hat was a great success too.