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17 February 2016 @ 07:46 pm
NF/NT Death spiral  
Posting this for reference also as I think I am in one right now.

The NT/NF Death Spiral


Summary: Relationships between NT and NF personalities have often been noted to follow a particular pattern as they progress.

Stage 1: NT meets NF. NF is enamoured of NT, falls head over heels. NT is characteristically cautious, but interested. NFs are fun, after all.

Stage 2: NF appreciates and admires many characteristics of the NT and thus begins to behave more like an NT, perhaps even fooling the NT into thinking s/he is an NT. NT then relaxes, figuring s/he's with a kindred spirit, gets more comfortable with the relationship, starts acting like normal NT self, expecting to
be understood.

Stage 3: NF feels NT cooling off and wonders what s/he is doing wrong. Tries to
be more like NT to compensate. This doesn't feel right. NF gets needy and/or begins to consider is her/his duty to draw the NT out of her/his shell, encouraging the
NT to express all those feelings buried deep inside. NT doesn't get it.

Stage 4: NT feels pressure from NFs emotional demands, needs distance to figure things out. (This might be only INTs. I'm not sure.) NF panics, becomes more needy. NT withdraws more...NF needs more...and so on and so on.

Stage 5: NF suddenly realizes that the reason things aren't working is that the
NT is cold and unfeeling or not nurturing or some other horrible thing. Abandons NT without looking back. (This is especially likely with the NFPs.) NT is confused and (sometimes) relieved.

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Current Mood: weirdweird
 
 
 
shanglong87: let me knowshanglong87 on March 9th, 2017 11:25 pm (UTC)
This is a really interesting read which i read and re-read more than one time because it shows one of the main mistakes NFs tend to do and i did when i was younger: being needy and not letting others personal space to figure out things better.

We NFs want to be part of something and being feeling types make us more people-oriented so we become needy when we see our precious environment in "danger", some of us can even become too attached to said person to point to suffocate him/her. Sadly i did this mistake with my first best friend when i was little, because of my jealousy (i know it's a sing of being insecure and that's another mistake we make). I wanted her and her presence, it was my fault if i lost her, i recognise it.

Another error many NFs do is lack of knowledge of how functions work. Every NF has different functions and they make the difference so we should learn more about our functions and other people's functions in this case NTs functions.

To sum up NFs need to: 1) accept the fact they are feeling types and not thinking types (i always stated my feeling nature on DA and thank to you and Gamma i understood which feeling type i am: the raging feeling type :P i'm joking XD)

2) leave space and understand that others need their space.

3) study more about functions.

This post is pretty accurate picture of this death spiral, thank you for posting it.