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01 January 2014 @ 08:17 pm
Moving too fast for me again  
This is a rant that's been a long time coming. Filtered post for my most trusted friends only. There's a girl on DA that found me because I posted my art on a group she watches. She started chatting with me and likes my stuff. But she's got all these issues that are so stupid I'm getting sick of hearing her complain about them. I've even told her to get out of these bad relationships but she just makes more excuses for herself and others. I don't know how it's happened but I have become her personal private journal or perhaps therapist. Everyday she sends me private notes telling me about her life, what she did, what's she's doing and he problems with her boyfriend and parents. She's not a kid she's an adult. She's older than I am. If I had any of the problems she did I'd get rid of them and I HAVE. I had a mother like hers. No more. I faced her and left my bad situation. One of the best moves of my life. I work hard to be happy and remove drama. She works hard to live in drama and be grumpy all the time. I don't watch her on Da though she watches me. I don't watch her because I don't want to read her stupid journals. I'm not into photography. I'm not into cowboys. Really I'm not. I'm only into George and how have I made him? He only looks the part. He's classical musician. That should tell you something. But because I have him I guess she thinks I'm a western fan like her. I research things so my stories will be more accurate and believable but that doesn't mean I like something. But she has a character too she's obsessed with and always tells me about him. I don't like her character. He's weird and ugly. People have some weird fantasies. I don't have romantic relationships with any of my characters nor are any of them "real" to me in the sense that they are an imaginary friend that helps me through troubles. Please. The reason my characters are strong is because they have my personality traits. They do not prop me up during hard time, I prop them up.

Today she told me something that really bugged me. Now if I were close to someone I would appreciate this and cherish it but not when I don't feel the same. Remember the ingredients for any relationship, trust, common ground and respect. They have to go both ways. None of those are there coming from me to her. She told me today she totally trusts me that she would let me read her story she doesn't show any one but her mom. She has some stories up and I have purposely avoided them. She did send me a small clip once of a scene she told me was funny. I read it to my regret. It was a romance. BLARG! I told her I don't like that kind of stuff. I'm like a young boy. I want action, adventure, fighting, explosions, aliens, monsters, death and destruction. Not mushy crap. I know what the story means to her though. I'm asking myself, WHY? WHY, would she trust me? I have given her NO reason to trust me. She's read all my stories on her own. She asked to see more so I showed her some. I have never sought out or asked to see any of hers. She indirectly asks me to play RDR with her on PS3. I don't like PS3 for that game. I played with her a few times but I'm not obsessed with that game like I was a few months ago and when I was it was on Xbox. But I think she liked it because I'm a good player. I'm not a jerk that goes around shooting everyone and everything on sight and I think and come up with plans and do fun things like turn stagecoaches in to boats. I know most online gamers aren't like that. Most are jerks that want to cuss out everyone friend, foe or stranger and shoot. Since I'm not like that I know I'm a rare gem online and everyone that's added me begs me to come on and play. Sometimes I have to back away from it because of that and I just want to be alone in a game like in real life. She doesn't bug me while I'm gaming but she tells me what she did in her game every time like a daily report. You know that's not so bad actually. That's actually the best stuff we talk about.

I also feel the conversations are one sided. She gives me very little feed back on what I say. I have to ask more than once then she goes off on her problems or her characters. "Did you know I'm working on a pic." "Oh that's nice. My guy did something like that once." *Huge paragraph or two about that* "Yes but what did you think?" I need feed back. Perhaps she also likes that I have very good conversation skills because I do touch on all the points she brings up, except her problems until I can't take them and tel her she's being dumb. I hate to do even that because then she'll go on more. I have told her how to fix the problems. I even told her some of the story of how I left my mother.

I know she does admire me not just for my art but I think the main thing she admires is my stability and how my life is full of no drama. She's the biggest drama in my life right now. I'm quite sure she's an INFJ and I really see us going through the NF/NT Death Spiral. Remember that?

Summary: Relationships between NT and NF personalities have often been noted to follow a particular pattern as they progress.

Stage 1: NT meets NF. NF is enamoured of NT, falls head over heels. NT is characteristically cautious, but interested. NFs are fun, after all.

Stage 2: NF appreciates and admires many characteristics of the NT and thus begins to behave more like an NT, perhaps even fooling the NT into thinking s/he is an NT. NT then relaxes, figuring s/he's with a kindred spirit, gets more comfortable with the relationship, starts acting like normal NT self, expecting to
be understood.

Stage 3: NF feels NT cooling off and wonders what s/he is doing wrong. Tries to
be more like NT to compensate. This doesn't feel right. NF gets needy and/or begins to consider is her/his duty to draw the NT out of her/his shell, encouraging the
NT to express all those feelings buried deep inside. NT doesn't get it.

Stage 4: NT feels pressure from NFs emotional demands, needs distance to figure things out. (This might be only INTs. I'm not sure.) NF panics, becomes more needy. NT withdraws more...NF needs more...and so on and so on.

Stage 5: NF suddenly realizes that the reason things aren't working is that the
NT is cold and unfeeling or not nurturing or some other horrible thing. Abandons NT without looking back. (This is especially likely with the NFPs.) NT is confused and (sometimes) relieved.

We're in stage 3 right now. She's told me she's resolved to be more assertive this year and that it may come off cold and mean but she's sick of people walking all over her. Sigh. First of all to be like an NT you don't actively THINK you're being cold or mean. You only think about doing what's right and if that is cold and mean then OH WELL. So it's the first stage of part 3. I already warned her I won't hold back for her feelings or sugar coat things. If she's being stupid I'll tell her and I have. But yeah the whole I trust you so much thing really put me off. She has no idea who's she's opening up to and I could so bury her. I told Chris she doesn't realize she's talking to a super villain who's trust you haven't gained yet. Not good.

I don't think I have anything else to say about this. I needed to vent. I've been putting up with this since late July or early August.
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
The Silver Wolf of Darkness: Do Not Wantsilvolf on January 2nd, 2014 09:08 am (UTC)
I know a few people like that. When I had that stalker, she'd note me every day, that was annoying. Right now I have a friend who's writing a story about our characters and I'm reading it. It's good, lots of violence and action (although she has sort of god-modded one character and I hate that, it's unrealistic) and she said there wouldn't be any romance in the story. So what's she doing now? Hinting that a couple of the characters "fancy" each other -_- Ergh. She TOLD me there wouldn't be any of that!! Too bad one of the other chars is her b/f's one so of course she wants to write that into it. But she HATES crits. So if I say anything, she'll fly at me. She did that when she introduced my char Roy to the story. His full name is Leeroy but he NEVER uses it. He's just Roy. But she kept referring to him as Leeroy and that bugged me so I asked her not to and she was all it may be your character but it's MY story. It wasn't even a crit! I think she writes very well. It was only a request. Anyway she apologized for yelling and relented to my request. But when she writes a chapter I don't like, I just don't comment, simple as that. I don't see many comments from any of her other friends who are in the story anyway. If she asks why then I'll tell her why. She doesn't like crits so she gets no comment.
As for your friend, the fact she is older and acts like a kid is annoying. I know people like that too. One of them recently was bawling about how no one goes to her Livestreams. She Livestreams gaming like Minecraft. She's also the only person I know whose art hasn't improved in the last 10 years. It's exactly the same and just as bad. Though I felt sorry for her, she doesn't realize that she's always in peoples' faces and rambling about her latest character crush or whatever. If she actually understood what people enjoy talking about, she'd be interesting to talk to. She likes cooking and swimming, she could share recipes and stuff in Livestream.
Sorry I rambled lol. I just understand these people of the net. I can't blame you for being annoyed with your one.
Des: Hummmthagirion on January 2nd, 2014 01:51 pm (UTC)
Are you talking about the Bowser girl? She liked a lot of the characters I did and had added me when I was on my other account. She used to send me emails and has an account her. She flipped out on me and well I let her have it. She's a retard. I saw you were an admin of her bowser community. I don't know why you added that but at least she took it down so now it's gone. I hate how she goes for cool characters and screws them over. I'm glad she's over Squidward. People like that are best told off and removed forever. I have considered that possibility with this one. I'm weighing my options.
The Silver Wolf of Darkness: Mewtrorrsilvolf on January 2nd, 2014 03:58 pm (UTC)
Yeah it was her. She's into Mewtwo now like she was over 10 years ago. Seeing her activity is like watching someone stuck in a time loop. I left that Bowser club anyway. She invited me to a couple of her other ones but I declined. One was a Discord one. I don't see her around much at the moment. She was on my Skype but I blocked her. The only reason I know she was upset about the livestream was because I saw it on Tumblr last night.
Desthagirion on January 2nd, 2014 04:04 pm (UTC)
You should remove her from everything. I remember your posts when you used to tell us about your conversations years ago.