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07 February 2016 @ 09:08 pm
I'm working on a lot of Fear art again. I'm so happy with how some of it is coming out. Gosh I'm working on a very cool drawing but it has a bunch of skulls that are tedious. Might take me a while to finish. And I have drawn this year's Valentine's card. So I may ink that tomorrow. I'm also trying to finish inking a drawing of Baba. I should focus on that one tomorrow. I'm also really in the mood to make an animation of Fear again. I just don't know what to have him doing. I want something that will look cool but not be so hard. I'd love to draw him flying but I know that would be hard. Even though I know very well how bird wings move. I have a pet peeve about poorly animated bird wings in movies. I hate them. So if I finally make one it will be right. Or die trying. Haha. Oh and I'm also trying to ink the 35 expressions I started last summer. They are all drawn but not inked.

Ok Kabuldur asked about the gourds.

This was back in December. The yard was lovely covered in these giant gourd leaves. But then the frost killed them.

And then the gourds were exposed.

Here's Chris harvesting two of the biggest ones. It was a wonderful year for gourds. I have never had luck with AFrican Wine Kettles. I don't know why suddenly they did so great.

And my budgie pillow collection is finally complete. I just need a small plush blue one for the small set. And I love my two Fears. I have to finish his wings soon. So many projects to work on.

And Weds we will go on our trip to Bradenton. I'm looking forward to that.
05 February 2016 @ 11:10 am
I haven't been well for about a week. I got this pain that feels like mild food poisoning. It comes and goes. I think it's over then it comes back. I don't know what's wrong. I don't want to go to a doctor. I think my acid refulx has gotten worse too as sometimes I need two pills instead of the one at night. Perhaps this is related to that. I may have to see a doctor anyway but bad timing with our three day trip coming up.

I'm happy to have gotten so far in my comic art. I hope to start the next page soon though I don't know how to lay it out and got a bit stuck on that.

Had a guy come over that saw our giant gourds in the yard and wanted to buy one. He got put off when I told him $25. Hey that's what big pumpkins go for so I don't care if he didn't like it. I hadn't planned on selling any but I really don't need all these gourds. I do hope they will dry and I won't lose any. But I'm worried because they were harvested when the vine was still alive because of the frost. I hope they don't rot as that tends to happen if you pick them. You have to let the vine die naturally.
Tags: ,
05 February 2016 @ 11:04 am
It was yesterday Feb 4, but am posting this from DA.

My husband and I met back in 1995. It wasn't an ideal meeting actually. I was standing in line for a community college to register for some classes. I was going to USF at the time but some courses were cheaper and easier at the CC. He was behind me in line talking to another girl. All of us had gone to the same high school. I hated that school. There were nothing but girl bullies and I had since found my confidence after moving to a different high school I loved and then getting into college. I had worked hard to erase most of those memories so hearing him talking about "good times" pissed me off when I was already in a bad mood form being told to go to different lines. So to shut them up as I didn't want my memories dug up I turned around and gave him a death stare. He lit up when he saw me. "Didn't we go to the same school together?" He asked me. That angered me further and I replied coldly, "I don't remember you." and turned around. It was a lie. I was mad I did remember him and I remembered he was an annoying joking type though he and I never interacted. We were only there 1 year I think as he was 4 years older than me. I was told once again I was in the wrong place so I stormed off. It was not a good day. And for the record I never like anyone when I first meet them. This is usually how meeting me goes. Those that have become good friends both online and in real life have survived my trail by fire.

Well I thought it was over but it was crazy how I kept running into him in such a big city as Tampa. WTF? And he kept screwing things up by asking, "Did we go to the same high school?" Conversations ceased and he was left wondering what he did wrong. Well by the 3rd time he figured it out. "Ok don't mention school." I was with my mother and we went into a Service Merchandise, the store he worked at, but I didn't know he worked there. We went into the electronics section as I love tech and stereos and there he was behind the counter. Oh no!! I hid behind my mother but it was too late. He saw me. Just like the last times he lit up. For him it was love at first sight. For me just another young man that was after me. See my new found confidence I had only had for 2 years was empowering and I realized guys liked me. Why not I'm pretty. I couldn't get back at the girls that had wronged me so someone would pay. So I started taking advantage of all the guys that were after me. Especially the ones that couldn't take no. I was out just looking out for me because no one else ever had and I had become a heart breaker. Or heart ripper as I thought of myself. I was obsessed with the video game Primal Rage that was in the arcade. It was a huge part of my life and I saw myself as the raptor Talon. Well Chris didn't mess up this time and he asked for my phone number. Sigh. So I gave him a fake number. Yes this was the kind of stuff I did to guys. I changed the last number to something else. My mother noticed but luckily kept quiet. I was worried she'd blow it for me. She did ask me about that when we got into the car and I told her I wasn't interested in him. So that was that I thought. I just won't go to that store any more there were other locations.

When I wasn't studying in college I would drive myself to the arcade to play my fave game. I had a coin pouch full of quarter I would save from my lunch money. Or sometimes I wouldn't eat or go to rallies just for the free food, whether I agreed with the rally or not. I knew where all the arcades were in town and they were "my" territory. I would own all the Primal Rage machines in Tampa. In that game you had three spaces to put your name. But if you got first place you could write a short sentence. I used to write Rex Bite Is Mite because if it got pushed out to second I'd still be Rex. And I would beat the game on one quarter and get over a million points. HA who could top that? Plus my Talon would be on the bone heap. Well I'd come back a few days later and sometimes my score had been toppled on some machines by some CAH person. WTF? How dare someone challenge me on my game. And how dare they actually be a respectable rival to beat my score. And they played mostly Armadon who I hated. He was a mix of ankylosaur and stegosaur. So I'd have to play even harder and invent crazier combos to not only beat my own scores but my unknown rival. One day I was at Tampa lanes and had just beating the game and suddenly Chris walks up with that star struck look again. WTF? Oh no. What's he doing in MY arcade? And then even worse he goes, "You're REX?" I knew right away. "You're CAH?" Yes. "I've had to go all over town to knock your scores off my game." I told him. Ok so he asks me for my number and this time I gave him a real one. He told me about the fake number yeah ok I gave him my real one. I'd play with him like I'd done with other guys and when I got bored I'd dump him. Besides I had had fun. But what were the chances this was OUR game?

So I went out with him a few times and finally got to the point where I thought I was done with him. He asked me out on a date to an arcade in the mall and I played to use all my quarters and after he walked me to my car I would tell him it was over. Everything went according to plan but I hadn't factored into my mastermind plot that I would actually have so much fun with him. What was I feeling? No one else had been this fun. What the Hell? We had so much in common. He loved monsters from Godzilla. I had seen most of the original movies. I loved real dinosaurs. At the time I was studying to become a paleontologist. We had talked about toys and how we even had similar ones and watched similar shows. Not only that but I had a check list that my ideal guy had to pass. No one had ever passed it as there were many things that he had to measure up to. I had a high standard. So high I thought no one would meet it. At this point I was happy to stay single forever. But he was passing my tests. How dare he pass my tests? Haha. And he was a worth adversary in Primal Rage and other games. That also had never happened. I was used to mopping the floors with my opponents. So when we got to my car in the parking lot instead of "Go away." I said, "Would you like to come to my house? You'd love my room." He said yes and I told him to follow me home. So I'm driving and I go, "What the Hell just happened? Why did I invite him to my house?" My ego got the better of me. Before getting rid of him I had to floor him with my huge Jurassic Park collection, figures and posters in my room. I was careful to not drive too fast in my black camaro and lose him. Actually the thought did cross my mind to take off and lose him. He'd never catch me in his pick up truck. And he even considered I might try to lose him but I didn't. I slowed down at one light as I didn't see him behind me but then he pulled up next to me and I went normal speed again. We got to my house and he was amazed by all my dinosaurs and birds, my fossil collection, my CD collection, my video game collection. Years later he told me the moment he met me at the arcade he knew he had to marry me. I had never had anyone appreciate my nerdy interests as much as he had so I did not dump him and continued to see him. I DID dump all the other guys though. why waste my time with them. I was now serious with him.

On Feb 4, 1996 he officially asked me out. With help from me. It was a cold morning and we were going on another date. We went out ever weekend. I knew he wanted to make it official and I was getting tired of waiting actually. I had been talking with my best girl friend at the time saying I knew he would ask me and wish he'd do it and stop being so afraid already. I told her if he didn't ask me soon I'd make him ask. So that cold morning in the truck after he sat quite trying to say something I go, "Is there something you want to ask me?" Finally he asked, "Will you be my girlfriend." "Yes. It's about time." I go. You could just hear the huge relief from him haha. We were both so happy that morning the nasty cold didn't matter. I asked him a few questions too about where he stood on issues and I answered the same questions for him. He was still jumping through my hoops perfectly. I'm so glad I didn't rip his heart out. Would have been the worst mistake of my life and I probably would never have know it. Looking back that's really scary how close I came but it didn't happen so I don't well on that memory often. I told him too that I had that as my plan. We are completely honest with each other as it's a trait why we work so well together. No secrets. Our religious and political views were the same so that was very important to both of us. We were the same in everything except food preference. Which is the one perfect thing to be opposite on. No competition. No fights about, "Who ate my hamburger?" We're only children so we wouldn't share food well anyway. I also helped him with his confidence and led by example. I had found mine so I had to help him with his. And later on he helped me get over the only probably I really had in my life, my mother. She was the only thing I was afraid of at that point and once that was over come it was liberating. If could defeat her nothing could stop me.

We married June 4, 2004. Yes 8 years later. And only so late because of my mother and I couldn't move out til I graduated college. Once I got my degree I was gone for good. Because of this we celebrate our total time not our married time because we've been married in our hearts from the start. Oh and neat fact. We were married in a science museum since we're nerds. I worked there so I was able to rent out the second floor for my wedding. The theme was budgies and doves. And the music was 80s and metal. Was that perfect or what? Our honeymoon was spent in Orlando at Sea World and the Renaissance Resort. So twenty years since that day he asked me officially. This morning he woke me up and goes, "I have a question I want to ask you." Aw, I gave him a hug. Too bad he has to work today but yesterday was the day off. We will celebrate next week. We booked a hotel in Bradenton FL and hope to go kayaking and check out a tiny island again called Leffis Key.
31 January 2016 @ 09:36 pm
I can't believe I'm up to page 15 and finished chapter 2. At last no more boring purple HQ backgrounds for a while.

Frame 1: AAAAAH!! Wind Storm!!
Frame 4: He....he's gone. Where did he go?

That's it. I didn't need to draw everyone again in the last panel because I'll just copy, paste and resize when I work on this in photoshop. It's to show the transition from the Fear Realm back to the real world again. And Fear has left the room. No one has any idea how.

I now have to give thought to the new chapter's layout. I need to look at my outline which I don't think is much. I don't know if it will be short or long.
30 January 2016 @ 09:29 pm

Frame 1:Fear: AAAAHH!!! Stop! OW! You're hurting me!
Sadness: Stay!
Disgust: Come on!
Joy: Don't go!
Anger: PULL!
Frame2: What powers will you give me tonight?
Frame 3: Gasp Gasp Gasp! (Thinking) I can't breath. Can't breath!
Frame 4: Voices: Idiots! You suck! We hate you! Shut up! Dummies! No! Go Away! Leave me alone! Jerk! Get Lost! I hate all of your!
Joy: Stop! Stop! I can't take this disharmony!

Ok so Fear totally freaks out when all four grab him and hurt him. You guys know how Anger used to treat him. He's kind of used to that and expects it but hadn't expected the others to come at him like this. The girls weren't trying to hurt him but I guess Fear had a panic attack and quickly turned into Scary Fear. Knocks everyone flat. And first time he uses his catch phrase on new victims. No air for Anger. Fires need oxygen so that fits. And disharmony is probably what Joy fears more than anything else. I had fun drawing the little inserts showing how Fear summons each fear. Disgust and Sadness are next. And this chapter is almost over. Next page may be the last one. I can't wait.
30 January 2016 @ 11:22 am
Ok this story is so fragmentary. I want it to work out but I'm just having problems with it. The biggest problem is I have no clear goal. What is the point of this story? Is this another pointless thing just for me to hurt him and why it's going nowhere? Like the one about killing Riley's Fear I had to scrap completely? I think that's the main question I need to figure out and all else will start to fall into place. Like Phil Collins said, "So how's it end?"

OK here's what I DO have.
Fear is falling for some reason. Breaks his fall with a tornado as it was a fear someone had on the ground. But he still gets badly hurt as he lands in some trees.
He's stuck in scary mode when he loses his memories and is far away from his city.
Ends up in a small town. Crawls in and no one wants to help him at first. They are afraid of him. But finally someone realizes they can't just let him die in the street.
A doctor answers some of his questions but he ends up with way more than he had. The town's people avoid him because of his looks.
I'm guessing eventually the town does accept him because I've drawn a scene where two walls are closing in and he's holding them off with his electricity and others are running out from under him. I like the idea that he doe sometimes do good deeds though it's rare. But how did he get into such a mess is the question for that scene too. See my mind hands me scenes and then it's up to me to work them into stories. I've got another great scene where he's being air lifted as a building explodes below him. I don't know what's up with that other than it's awesome. I don't know what story that would fit into.

OK back to this one. I'm thinking this town is part of a system that must be run the same everyday. The digestive system. Another button pushing job type thing. But it has to be done the same and by the book. Boring. But I didn't want it to be a super vital system like respiratory or circulatory because if I have closing walls and explosions Charlie won't die. Two days without food and he'll be ok. Because you know there has to be destruction. My hunger is broken. I have to remember to eat because I don't feel hungry or I start feeling bad and getting weak and I don't know why. Perhaps Charlie is the same way after this.

Those of you that saw the sketch dump this is also the story where he's on a cliff trying to save someone. Someone fell off a cliff and Fear tries to save them. Of course when they see an ugly scary monster at their only means of escape they are afraid. If you didn't know who he was I wonder how many people would trust him or chose to fall to their deaths? In this case they choose to die. Fear is hurt by this. Not because they died. Despite having lost his memory he hasn't lost his personality. He's still very cold. He just can't understand what is wrong with him that everyone's so afraid of him. What I love is that he has no idea he's fighting his very nature, his own name, which one should never do or you'll always lose. He IS scary. But he doesn't know who he is. His protective nature as being in charge of safety is also still in tact so that's why he tried to help.

Ok so I think that's everything I have on this story. What a mess. Yes please suggestions if you have any.
30 January 2016 @ 10:33 am
Well I'm trying to develop my latest character Gord. So far I only know that he's an Extrovert and a feeling type. ExFx. I think I want him to be an intuitive as well. That will make him a bit unpredictable. Plus ENF villains are so rare. But P or J? Making him a P would make him more timid and unsure. A J he'd know his path and choices better. I'm not sure yet. ENFJ would basically be Fear's opposite. Only one letter difference so that might be the way to go. I can't think of any evil ENFJ's. I know of one evil ENFP. Hal/Titan from Megamind. Do I want him to be pathetic and angry like Titan? Or do I want a more respectable villain and eventually becomes a worthy adversary to Fear? I don't know yet. Let's see. Here are my descriptions for those types.



I have given Gord a 3rd phobia as well. He's afraid of being alone. Which he is because everyone in the mind knows he's Charlie's villain and they don't want to be around him long. Though Gord doesn't like his part he considers himself an actor. "I'm not really a bad guy." And he wants to have a normal life, normal job in the mind. But with Charlie using him so much no one would take him because he could vanish at any moment. When Charlie is using him he gets transported to a large clear cute in the imagination where what Charlie thinks of happens to him for real. So he has actually died many times.

That's all I have for now. I think I am leaning towards ENFJ but still don't know. What do you guys think?
28 January 2016 @ 08:44 pm
Previous page. http://thagirion.livejournal.com/877946.html

Panel 1: Disgust: Alone?
Sadness: You're the lead emotion?
Joy: We thought Anger was the lead emotion.
Disgust: Why didn't you say something?
Panel 2: Seemed everyone was happy with him in charge.
Panel 3: Joy: How could you, Anger?
Anger: Well, I'm the better leader.
Panel 4: You know what? I'm leaving. You guys like him better as leader. Things are just "great." We're a "great" team, and Charlie's always furious.
Panel 5: Disgust: You can't quit. Emotions don't quit.
Fear: I'm not quitting. I'm just leaving.
Panel 6: Joy: No Charlie Needs you. You're his lead. We need you.
Fear: No you don't. You won't even let me do my job.
Panel 7: Sadness off camera: Where will you go?
Fear: I don't know. But I know there's something out there for me.
Panel 8: NO! It's supposed to be five emotions! Not Four! Stop him!!

I was worried this page wouldn't be good. Don't like the first row but then it got better after that. I love the second middle and bottom middle frames. I hadn't intended it but I wonder if Anger took advantage of this moment of weakness Fear had when he was unsure of where he would go. Well this isn't going to be good from here out.
28 January 2016 @ 10:47 am
I finished this lovely drawing yesterday of chapter 2 of Fear Before the Fall.

The song I Walk to my Own Song by Stratovarius fits him so well once he frees himself from Anger.

This drawing was inspired by the two covers of Elements 1 and 2.



The fire is the only thing I didn't add but I used lightning instead as that's Fear's built in power.

This past Monday and Tuesday actipton80 visited me. We had a blast talking about birds, playing with birds, my microbes and my Fear figures. We went to Colt Creek State Park too. And she got to see my giant gourds. I made a journal about it on DA here.

I'll post more photos soon here. I have more I haven't uploaded.

Time's running out but I'm thinking of booking a hotel in Bradenton for 2 days so we can go to Leffis Key again and see the manatees at the Palma Sola boat launch. It would be our celebration for our 20th. A small one but the real one will be in August. I just can't wait that long and want to do something special for this day coming up.

23 January 2016 @ 02:58 pm
Just finished page 12 and it's a MAJOR one with important dialog and reveals.

Panel 1: It's not that.
Panel 2: Don't lie to me. I can see it. Why are you afraid of me?
Panel 3: You've changed. Even your voice is different. Ever since you did that thing to Anger.
Panel 5: Sigh.
Panel 6: Let me get this straight. I finally did the right thing and stood up for myself. I had to because none of you ever did.
Panel 7: And though I have never used my powers on any of you since you're still afraid of me? How does that make sense?
Panel 8: You're scary now.
Panel 9: Scary Fear huh?
Panel 10: I liked things better when I was alone. When I was the only one.

Seems the truth hurt him a little. But something is going on in his mind already as he looks out across the landscape. I love this page. And still it's Chapter 1. Gosh I want this chapter over with.
22 January 2016 @ 09:49 pm
Did I forgot to post page 6? I think I did. And I finished 7 today. So here they are.

That first frame of page 7 was hard. I'm happy with how both of these turned out. I've started to sketch page 12 already and really want to finish chapter 1 already.

I'm trying to get the house in order as my friend ACTipton80 will be visiting. I'm very excited. I will see her Monday and Tuesday. YAY!

14 January 2016 @ 01:37 pm
And the latest page. I was worried this would be hard but drew it in one sitting. Best get started on 12 after this.

Frame 1: Charlie: Wow cool
Fear: Uh oh.
Frame 2: Sadness: DON'T!
Fear: What the heck?
Frame 3: Charlie: OUCH!
Fear: Why did you do that? Now we're hurt!
Sadness: Charlie needed to cry?
Fear: NO!
Frame4: What's going on? Why are all of you trying to keep me from the console?
Frame 5: No reason.
Frame 6: Wait. You're afraid of me?

And now we know why they are acting so strange. Isn't Sadness the master of subtlety? So everyone's afraid of Fear now and they don't want him touching the console. This can only get worse. Right now Fear is merely surprised by this. You guys know he reacts to this stupidity the same way I do. He'll be pissed as it goes on.
09 January 2016 @ 08:03 pm
Got the next page done. Previous page http://thagirion.livejournal.com/875757.html

Panel 1: Hummm
Panel 2: Here let me get that for you. Just relax on the couch.
Panel 3: Oh uh okay. Thanks.
Panel 6: Disgust: Don't trouble yourself.
Fear: Uh, okay?

The other emotions are acting strange aren't they? I LOVE panel 5 where he notices a danger to Charlie. Puddles. This is one of Fear's roles to be alert to threats small or big.
08 January 2016 @ 09:30 am
Things are going well here. The budgies are growing. Having some issues with splayed legs mostly on the lacewing. So I made a little thing for her feet. She hated it. Poor thing. Today is day 3 of wearing it but hope to take it off in 5 days and her feet should be better. There's a depression in the nest that's not good and messes up the feet. I took it out and added a bunch of shavings. It's been hard keeping up with the daily photo. I already lost count.

I had my first Fear dream yesterday. Check this out.
I was having a boring mundane dream. Buying wrapping paper at a store with some friends. Then I was in this museum with humans and robots and there was a crazy mastermind wanting to enslave the robots. It was great but for some reason he bored me and I went outside. Somehow now I was standing in front of a Christmas store again and I realized I was dreaming. I got worried because once you become lucid that's a strong chance you'll wake up. I almost did. The world suddenly felt less real and the whole thing looked like it had phased through a filter. Like the resolution had changed for the worst. I waited then asked myself "Am I still dreaming or is this real." I realized I hadn't woke up and got excited and decided to test my powers again. My biggest complaint was that I wasn't in 3rd person like I usually am. I was in 1st so I couldn't see myself. I held out my left hand and it was normal. Then I though, "I'm going to be Fear. Now when I bring my hand back out it better be purple!" So I lifted my hand again and it was! Though it wasn't quite the right shade I go, "I'll take it." I got extremely happy and excited at that point and just started running off down the sidewalk of this town with my hands up and laughing. I love how I can still think in dreams and I go, "Oh gosh I better make sure I didn't change back. Look down and see if you're wearing a black and white shirt." So I looked down at myself and yes there was that sweater of his. YAY!! I looked down and had the right pants and shoes too and I was shaped properly. Now the dream switched to 3rd finally and I could see myself as Fear. "I must do another test!" I said. So flicked my hands to the sides and shot out thin purple electricity. I could hear the little thunderclap. They weren't very powerful and didn't go very far. Six feet perhaps no matter what I did but I was thrilled. I was so happy I just started laughing and kept on running. I didn't see anyone but I'm sure I was scaring everyone around me. Switched back to first person and I was running so fast I took off and started flying. I could see my molecular purple hands come out in front of me from time to time. I was still testing that I was in control. I loved how it felt to fly. I saw a tree near a building and aimed for it. I dove down and I was still in control. I was so happy. But when I start flying is when I tend to lose control of a lucid dream because I get so happy and excited the dream comes in and takes me away so I don't know what happened after that. No more Fear I'm sure. So I wish that dream had been all in 3rd and that I'd stayed in control loner and been Fear more. I've been wanting to dream about being him since Sept. About time.

I've got some lovely new art to share too.

This one is called Eternal Mind and I think it turned out so beautiful. He's so happy creating all this lovely space stuff around him. Inspired by the song of the same name.

Chris found me this other awesome song by Power Theory. I don't know anything about this band other than the one song that I loved. Driven by Fear.
The song starts at 1:13 The lyrics fit Fear perfectly as to what his powers are. He feeds on fears big or small. People on DA think he only goes for your worst fears. No not always. My poor character is actually very misunderstood. The only misunderstanding I wanted for him was for people to think he's evil. Sometimes he is, but not always. He's very complex and unpredictable.

Well our 20th anniversary is coming up Feb 4th. I'd love to go to the keys but there may not be enough money or time. I'm not sure how to plan a trip there. I really want to do something special ON that day. I just don't think it will work out. I also don't know if Mike can watch our birds on such short notice too.

Well back to brain storming my stories. One theme I love exploring is lost memories. I'd love to do this with Fear but I'm not getting much and think for him it would be too easy to resolve his dilemma. I think everyone in the brain would be looking for him. I could have him get lost in an obscure part that has a small town that doesn't get much news. They would not know who he was. He'd still have his powers so he'd be able to see others' fears still. That might disturb him since he doesn't know who he is. But I also thought they could show him his memory orbs which might help him remember or at least believe what they tell him. And I have no set plot so I'm not sure if this could even work though I'd like it to. I just know it starts with him falling. Why is he falling? I don't know. How is he falling? I don't know. Perhaps he fell out of a plane or lost his wings. I just know he conjures a tornado from someone walking near by to try to save himself. But since he is afraid himself his powers aren't very strong. The tornado slows his fall but he lands hard through some bare trees and is out when these people find him. They see him falling. And that's all I have.
02 January 2016 @ 01:49 pm
I really need to update this icon. I don't draw Fear this way anymore. I think I have finally finalized his look. Anyway late Happy New Year everyone. I had a very good one. I'll post my end of the year meme here soon as its own post. 2015 was an excellent year. I'm looking forward to good things in this one too.

So I have at last drawn Gord. He's not looking his best because he's terrified but yes he's meant to be an ugly guy. Ophidius would be thrilled to welcome another ugly guy to his club.

This one is called No Way Out inspired by the song by Voice. Especially the opening verse.

Stormy wind opens the gate
And stuffy smoke spreads in the air
Your heart begins to pound
Screams hurt in your ears
A cold hand touches you
You're looking in the face of fear
A hundred sins remembered
And find their way through your brain
Your brain

Looking in the face of Fear is the line that caught my attention and inspired all of this. The song is from Gord's point of view of course. I tried to put all these elements into this drawing. I LOVE how Fear turned out. I'm very happy with him.

And I drew up this simple little thing because I've seen people calling Fear's hair his axon. That's wrong.

Cute he explains his own anatomy in this. I don't like the big drawing of him but you get the idea. This wasn't drawn with effort to be a masterpiece. But I may redraw him in the future to something better. It's so cute how he's holding his hair.

I'm repotting nepenthes today. Some anyway. I'd like to do two big pots. I need to make cuttings of some that have gotten way too long and trim them back. On new years day I finally kicked the chicks out. They were not happy and pecked me today. Even Luffa who's the friendliest was mad at me. Aw poor things but they have to learn to be independent.

Well I think that is all for now. Other than working hard on my art not much has happened.
02 January 2016 @ 01:47 pm
Place holder for Hitler flamewar.
02 January 2016 @ 01:47 pm
Place holder for Vampire flamewar.
28 December 2015 @ 03:52 pm
So here is the sketch for page 9. I like this one a lot. Here is the recap if you need it http://thagirion.livejournal.com/873110.html

Frame 1: Excuse me? How did you get in here?
Frame 2: Don't worry about it buddy.
Frame 3: Worry is what I do.
Frame 4: Now I really need to know how to leave.
Frame 5: Sorry. Rule 57....
Frame 6: You're going to tell me.
Frame 7. It's that panel over there! It leads to the central shaft! That leads to the 5 islands! Don't hurt me! Please make it stop! Make it stope!
Frame 8: Make what stop? Thank you for your cooperation. Let's uh...keep this to ourselves. Now run along.
Frame 9: Who are you again?
Frame 10: I'm Fear.

He's getting better at scaring. This guy spilled all the beans easily once Fear saw he was afraid of microbes. So giant amoeba it is to get him to talk.

I have the dialog all worked out for page 10 but having a hard time with the framing. Not sure how to go about it as there's some weird events and so far the next scene is very dialog intensive. I don't like that but it's one of those points in the story it can't be avoided.
28 December 2015 @ 03:35 pm
Just a place holder for now. This flamewar with former Purple-Shrimp-Noodle (yeah I know the name is so telling) is just about wrapped up and ready for logging. This one went down on youtube.

PurpleShrimpNoodleCollapse )
26 December 2015 @ 08:56 am
Hello everyone. I need to catch up on comments here. Christmas was great. ACTipton80 I loved your gift. Cute measles microbe. And I will give Bullet her ball. It jingles very nicely. I hope she likes it.

Bad and good news. The first budgie died. Optic did not sit on it or feed it. He was shoved to the side cold and empty. That sucked. But the other eggs hatched on Dec 23 another black eyed baby. And yesterday I got a Christmas budgie. A lacewing. YAY! Seems these are being warmed and fed. I hope they make it to at least 7 days because then I can take over feeding.


Here's everything I got this year.

And here is our tree.

And I made a plush of Scary Fear I'm very proud of.

I reworked an existing Fear doll and made him my own. Since you guys on LJ get spoilers I'm not done with him. I'll be making him some raven wings. I haven't decided how yet but I have the pattern drawn. I ordered black felt for this. Ideally I'd love to put little retractable arms in them so he can fold his wings. I just have no idea how I'd do that yet. Otherwise his wings will be floppy and limp.

I got my new camera. I think I will end up loving it. The eye piece seems really good too Better than on the 50 model though it's a screen. I might be able to track birds in flight with it. I'll have to practice with it. If so my photography will greatly improve. I still have a lot of gift art to work on and am behind on cards (which will be post cards btw because of printer issues) and a few things.

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas.
19 December 2015 @ 10:02 am
A budgie hatched today from Optic and Bullet's dad. YAY. The Phage line will hopefully no longer be in peril. But it's not a lacewing. Normal black eyes. Gender to be determined.

Two eggs to go. One is infertile. So Bullet has a half sibling now.

So if you read the story Tropical Terror you've seen a smaller version of my new drawing. Here's a larger one of Fear with his wings in a beautiful setting.

I also made a wingless version so you can see his pose.

I like how he's crouched though I liked the winged one better. But since I made the effort to draw him under his wings he should be seen.

I'm almost done with all the Christmas shopping. Chris knows but I'll be buying him a new monitor. It takes his half an hour to an hour to boot up. It's ridiculous. We can't have that. He missed his morning online time because of this nonsense.

It's cold today. In the 40s. I don't like it. Had to bring in all the plants. There are plants all over the house. My guest bathroom is a jungle again.

I bought some felt pieces and will be remaking one of my Fear plushes into Scary Fear. I really have no idea what I'm doing. I hate sewing but I want a Scary Fear plush really badly and this is the only way. I have some idea so we'll see if he turns out. I already made his eyebrows. Now to figure out how to do the teeth. But I ordered some extra ones in case I mess them up. I can't wait for those to arrive.
19 December 2015 @ 09:44 am
This is a story about Fear and the first time I've written about Gord.

        The trench coated man screamed as he was dragged up the hill by the light purple monster. He wore a dark grey coat, black pants and black tennis shoes. He looked like a stereotypical detective except he didn’t use a hat. He had white skin with brown hair.  His name was Gord. No last name as his creator Charlie had not given him one.  He was by no means charismatic.  He had been created to be ugly; freckled face, plain brown eyes and bad teeth.  Charlie always placed him in the most difficult of stories and drawings.  He was glad when the host wasn’t thinking about him.  But those times of peace had vanished after having been  discovered by the monster that now had him in his grips.  This monster was the dark emotion Fear.  And he knew what Gord feared most.  

        Gord continue to scream as he was pulled through the tall thick grass.  He was tied up with a heavy rope and could only kick his protest.  Fear’s raven feathers would sometimes brush up against Gord’s face as they went higher and higher.  It felt horrible. The inky feathers made his skin crawl.  He was not sure if Fear was doing this intentionally or not as the broad wings rested against his back. He was being pulled by the rope with his right hand and carried up as though he were a child’s wagon. Eventually they reached the top of the plateau yet still Fear pressed on. The ground became rocky and sandy.  Gord could hear the sound of birds squawking.  Sea birds flew over head. He continued to struggle and call out for help.  Suddenly he came to a stop and was spun around on his haunches.  Now he was staring directly into the face of Fear.  It was truly horrifying.  He hated this tall, skinny, decrepit monster so much.  

        Fear wore a pair of pleated dark blue pants. His feet were covered by a pair of glossy black dress shoes.  He wore a light weight long sleeve shirt. It was pale blue with even lighter pin stripes.  Over this shirt he wore a hounds tooth sweater vest. He had a dark red bow tie around his neck.  His skin was a shade of light purple and effervescent. It seemed to boil with molecular energy. Particles would sometimes waft off of him and vanish into the air like the bubbles of a fresh glass of soda. His head was long, thin and tipped with an equally long thin nose like the beak of a hummingbird.  On the top of his head were two huge round eyes.  They were spheres rested on their pedestal. The purple skin covered the back, but not the front where his eyelids rested.  The eyes themselves were white and glowed with energy from within.  There were no pupils but the white lights in his eyes seemed to fill that vacant role. Both eyeballs gave off a purple aura so long as they were open.  His purple light would go out ever time he blinked making it difficult to look at him directly. Over these disgusting balls for eyes floated two jagged furry eye brows. They were a much darker purple than Fear’s flesh.  If this visage wasn’t horrible enough, his mouth was lined with several long, pale yellow conical teeth like those of an angler fish.  His smile was as wicked as his gaze. A single strand of purple hair protruded from the back of his head between his eyes.  It was long and changed shape based on his mood.

        Fear also had a pair of black raven wings that were fully spread as he loomed over his victim. The sun to his back, he cast his shadow over the frightened man.  Fear raised his hands towards him as though he were going to grab him. His five fingers were tipped with long purple claws; the same color as his skin.
        “Would you please stop screaming already?” Fear asked frustrated.  His voice was slightly high pitched and seemed to have a quiver to it; a sort of resonation. Not at all what one would expect a creature with his frightening face to sound like.  “Silent terror. You really should try it sometime.  This place is too beautiful for you to be disturbing the peace and quiet.  Besides there is no one here but us.  Now SHUSH!”  Fear added.
        “Please have mercy!” Gord whined. Fear sighed exasperated.
        “I already told you I am not going to kill you. Begging for mercy implies that I am. I promise I won’t kill you today.”  Fear said as he closed his wings on his back.  Now Gord could see where they were. They were out by a gorgeous aqua ocean at the top of a flat cliff.  I stretched out for several feet ending suddenly at the beach.  But the worst thing for Gord was he’d been placed right in the middle of a nesting colony of seagulls. Gord had a deep seated fear of birds. He began to scream again when he saw them. On top of that  he had a fear of heights so being on this cliff was horrible for him.
        “You’re going to leave me here for the birds to eat! I want to go home! I want to go home!”  Gord screamed over and over.  Fear back handed him.
        “Quiet.  The birds would only eat you if you were dead and I told you I am not going to kill you. Goodness you’re so irrational.”  Fear said as he turned away from him.
        “Don’t leave me alone with these birds. Don’t leave me up here!  Why are you doing this to me?”  Asked Gord frantically.
        “Now you’re also afraid of being alone? You do have issues don’t you? I’ll have to remember that.” Fear said.  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cloth. “Now I am serious about wanting to enjoy the peace and quiet here.”  Fear then proceeded to gag Gord. Satisfied that he was quieter, though he was still moaning through his bindings, Fear spread his ebon wings and leaped off the side of the cliff into the valley below.

        What Gord did not know was that his worst phobias were what gave Fear his powers.  He did not naturally have a pair of black wings.  It was Gord’s own fear of birds and heights that gave Fear this ability. Fear had only manifested himself in this form to Gord.  His’s powers were also based on the range he had to his victims.  There were two ways Fear could handle a victim he intended to frighten. He could get inside their minds and conjure a scary fantasy that may as well have been real to the victim. In this state Fear’s powers were virtually unlimited.  The other way was to manifest the fears for real.  In this scenario he was limited by range and by the intensity of the fears.  It was risky to go flying for real like this but with Gord being at the top of a cliff Fear had increased the range substantially. Gord had become his broadcast tower.

        Fear crouched on an outcrop of rock in the canyon below.   It led to the ocean in the distance.  At last it was quiet. The birds were far away now and only the wind rustled the vegetation in the canyon.  This canyon was made of limestone.  The vegetation was a mangrove forest. The water from the sea came up into the land through this valley.  Plants hung down from the walls of the cliffs.  It was beautiful. Fear just enjoyed perching on his rock and simply existing in this form. It was a bright sunny day. The sky overhead was as blue as the lovely waters of the ocean in the distance. But on the horizon loomed a dark storm.  It was heading inland.  A large bolt of lightning flashed.  Fear was fascinated by it.  He widdled his thumb and index finger on his right hand sparking his own electricity between them.  He was completely unaware he was generating his own electricity between his fingers. Fear was just lost in his thoughts contemplating.

        Fear knew what he was. Not just the obvious that he was an emotion in Charlie’s mind, but that he was a neuron. Apart from his ability to see and manifest the fears of others he had an inherent ability to use electricity from within him.  It was the one power he could use in both his forms. His current scary form as well as his normal form which Gord had never seen.  As a neuron Fear could generate an action potential when the ions in his cytoplasm became over loaded or polarized.  He could then discharge his action potential with dangerous force. Or not as he could control the intensity of his output. He was limited in how many times he could do this before he became completely depolarized.  But because of this he was immune to electricity from outside sources.  In theory he could take a direct hit from a bolt of lightning and survive. He was sure that he could.  But he was not just going to attempt this to satisfy his curiosity. No it went deeper than that. Fear suspected if he took a hit from a bolt of lightning he might absorb more electrical power than he could muster on his own even when full polarized.  How powerful would his discharge be then? Now that was worth testing out.

        The storm was coming in well enough. Now was the time Fear thought. He launched himself over the mangrove trees as he flew off into the storm. Gord moaned as he watched Fear glide away below. His eyes were wide in horror of where he had been left. Fear loved this. It felt wonderful to fly so fast and low over the trees. Soon he shot out over the beach and found himself above the water.  He was finally under the storm.  He hovered and waited. His black wings beat back and forth in a figure 8 as he held his position. It was difficult to do with such broad wings. They weren’t really designed for this type of hovering.  The only other way was to fly into the wind but the winds were against him this time.  A bolt struck near by but not close enough. He could feel the static build up but it had missed him.  He would have to get one to come to him. Waiting wasn’t going to work.  Fear began to slowly discharge his own lightning.  He didn’t want to waste it all at once.  Small electrical hairs wavered from his arms and chest. It looked like he had cilia waving over most of him.  He was producing his own static while doing this as well. Then he felt it. Powerful static was building around him much more powerful than he could cause without discharging.  And then it happened. Everything turned white and it felt like he’d hit a steel wall.  Thunder cracked and Fear found himself spiraling out of control.  He didn’t know what had happened. He couldn’t think. Everything was moving too fast.  Then he hit the water.  His own feathers gently floated down to him as he lay on his back on the rocking ocean.  His vision faded and he passed out.

        From the cliff top Gord couldn’t believe what he had seen. What a stupid emotion.  And he had called him irrational? If he could fly he knew better than to fly into a storm. He hoped Fear was dead. It would serve him right. But in case he wasn’t he had to find a way out of this.

        Fear woke up on the warm wet white sand of the beach.  The morning sun had warmed him enough to cause him to awake. Morning?  How long had he been out?  He pushed up with his arms. Everything hurt.  He slowly sat up on his knees and held his head in his hand.
        “Physical damage. Right. I never seem to learn that lesson.” He thought to himself. The experiment had failed. He hadn’t absorbed any of the lightning’s power. He hadn’t even been in its direct path.  It had just scraped him on its edge but the force was enough to knock him through the air. There was no transfer of energy. It was as though he’d flown into the force field of a space ship. He had been nothing but a fly to be swatted out of the air.  He looked himself over.  His wings were gone.  Fear then looked at his hands. No claws. That means he’d gone back into his normal mode and was no longer Scary Fear.  His eyes now had sparkling purple irises.  His teeth were flat, square and normal white. He was completely normal looking once more.  He tried to take Scary Form again and form his wings but he could not.  No wings. That meant he was out of range.  He looked down the beach.  The canyon he had flown through was not far; within walking distance.  So he was at least still in the same place. But this meant Gord had escaped.  He’d have to walk back to headquarters.  This experiment had definitely not gone well.
12 December 2015 @ 08:52 am
Not much I want this year. This is the fewest lists I've had.

Giant Microbes https://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/wishlist/shared/index/code/97eb0830256cd59fd5af32b25b6af65c/

Amazon wish list https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/B2JF5PEY6XN/ref=cm_sw_su_w

Ebay gift card http://www.ebay.com/itm/251669833365

Gift art of Scary Fear http://fav.me/d9e9b9b
Or George/Gallemotch